A Thought I Have To Share

Twenty-eight years ago today God''s love light shined on me and I found out I was pregnant with my one and only child, my precious daughter Brooke.  I don't think I've ever experienced a happier time, except of course, the day she was born.  I have shared this story with many women who have struggled to have children and I know that God has blessed me with this story to tell, and so I pass it on to you.

I had been trying to conceive for about a year.  Every night I  literally went to sleep begging God for a child.  That's all I needed and my life would be complete.  That's what I believed.  I went to the doctor only to find out I needed a little "push" as he described it and was prescribed a fertility drug.  I didn't get it filled right away because certain things needed to happen before I could take it...it never happened.  I kept praying my same prayer until one day I was raking the yard and I suddenly realized, maybe God didn't want me to be a mother.  What if that was the case?  I knew in my heart I had a deep longing to be a mother.  I raised every orphaned animal anyone would give me, rabbits, squirrels, birds...yes, I even had one squirrel for 3 years and he thought I was his mama.  I decided that maybe I needed to change my prayer.  If me being a mother wasn't in God's plan, I needed to have a talk with Him about that.  And so I did...I literally went to my knees, something I still do quite often, and had a long talk.  I told Him I realized that what I was asking for might not be something He wanted to give me and if that was the case, I could accept it.  But....the word that begins all sentences we dread hearing....I needed Him to take care of a few things first.  He knew my heart, He knew the love I had in my heart because He placed it there, He knew all the feelings I was having, He knew my future, He knew what was best for me.  If God didn't want me to be a mother I needed him to take away all those feelings I had...the need to care for and raise a child, the need to pass on traditions that were so dear to me, the need to cradle and nurture that precious little bundle that I felt I so desperatly needed.  And, he needed to replace it with something else.  We talked for a long time and when I finished, I felt refreshed.  I still prayed, but my prayer had changed to not what I wanted, but what God wanted for me.  Still nothing happened so I could take my "push" as the doctor referred to it.  I got frustrated so I called the doctor's office and told them I couldn't proceed with this "push" and the nurse said, "Well, maybe you are pregnant!"  "Oh no, I'm not....I took an EPT this weekend and it was negative."  "Well, maybe you should come in and have a blood test."  "Well, okay, but I know I'm not but, whatever..."  Then, it started to snow....pouring snow and I was at work.  Now how am I going to get by the doctor's office to get my permission slip to go by the hospital tomorrow to have my blood test?  The snow kept pouring, but lucky for me, it wasn't sticking to the roads.  I left work early and dashed to his office.  Now, I had to wait until morning.  I prayed my usual prayer not really thinking one way or the other.  The next morning the sun was shining bright...it was beautiful on the snow and the roads were still clear.  Before I left to go by the hospital for my blood test I sat down with my Bible in hand and asked God to show me what I needed to read to calm my nerves.  I closed my eyes and opened my Bible and took my finger and pointed to a scripture (I do this quite often).  I began reading, I read several verses and thought to myself, "This has nothing to do with a pregnant woman, having a baby, or anything that pertains to me."  But, I kept reading.  It was the story of Jesus healing the blind man.  The last verse I read was, and I can't quote it and don't even know the passage, but Jesus looked at the blind man  and said, through your faith I give you your sight.  I have never in my life felt the peace of God come over me as it did at that very moment.  I felt like I was in the presence of angels.  I knew without a shadow of a doubt everything was okay.  I closed my Bible and left for the hospital.  At 4:30 that afternoon I called to get the results and found out that yes, God had blessed me with a tiny little life that was inside me....my answered prayer...my gift from Heaven...my vision of faith.  And on the day she was born she was placed in my arms and I said, "Thank you Lord, I give her back to You.  "Children are  gems from Heaven, to be polished by us, and presented back to the Lord".  I never got that fertility drug prescription filled.  It is neatly folded in my Bible.  And now, 28 years later and everyday since then I say thank you God, you have blessed me beyond measure.  I have never asked for that blessing again because I am so humbled by the fact that He answered my prayer and gave me a beautiful, healthy daughter who is everything a mother could ever ask or hope for.  On that day, 28 years ago....the heavens opened and God's love light shined on me.  Thank you God.